


Small Things

by violinofademigod



Series: WinterFalcon Oneshots [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Anal, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this instead of my BA thesis, Kissing, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam would die for Bucky, Smut, Visions, don't hurt Bucky Barnes, he's suffered enough, i hate writing tags but they are important for my readers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violinofademigod/pseuds/violinofademigod
Summary: It’s the small things that are the indicators of the worst nightmares. Bucky sufferes from his past almost every night. Sam knows that even though he can't make the nightmares cease, he can make his love feel better. Even if it i for only one night.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: WinterFalcon Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711450
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Small Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vic_Kama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vic_Kama/gifts).



> This story is dedicated to Vic_Kama for being such a nice commenter and for being kind <3 Always be kind guys, you have no idea what people are going through, and Vic_Kama made one of the worst days of my life much more bearable with a few kind words. So again, Thank you for being so nice <3
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> This story is a work of fiction, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson belong to Marvel Comics.

It’s the soft whimpers that wake Sam up in the middle of the night.

People think that when things come back to haunt you in your dreams, it’s all screams and shouts and panting and cold sweat. But he knew better. It’s the small things that are the indicators of the worst nightmares. Rapid, uneven breathing. Eyes rolling under closed eyelids. Soft murmurs and whimpers that are indistinguishable but say more than a million words could.

Bucky was doing all of those while he was sleeping. Almost every night.

When they first started sleeping together, he didn’t dare wake him up. They say people tend to remember their dreams more when they are woken up in the middle of it. And even though Sam was cocky with Bucky and they bantered a lot, sometimes even hurtfully, he hated seeing this beautiful, broken man in such pain.

Bucky never let it show when he was awake. At least not intentionally. But even then, it was the small things that made Sam sure that he was having visions and flashes of his past. Eyes as blue as ice, a little too alert to be normal. Little flinches of his fingers. Murmuring softly when no one is looking. Small smiles, which always seemed tired and sad, no matter how good he felt. As Sam was looking at him now, he saw just how much pain those fucking animals inflicted on him. While asleep, he wasn’t the Winter Soldier or an Avenger. Right there and then was one of the rare moments Sam saw the true level of damage Bucky had to live with. Right there and then, he looked hurt. 

Vulnerable.

So Sam did the only thing that seemed to work most of the time when Bucky’s nightmares seemed to overwhelm him. He hugged him close, gently holding him and turning him so that they faced each other, kissing him softly and kindly, like a mother would kiss her child, his cheeks, his ear and everywhere he could.

Bucky’s breathing gradually calmed and Sam felt long lashes flutter open, his mouth crawling up to a small smile.

\- Hey. - he whispered.

\- Hey there, snuggle butt. - answered Sam, continuing the trail of kisses on his cheeks, making his way to his temples and ear. His skin was a little rough, he probably hasn’t shaved in a few days.

Sam continued the kiss attack, feeling his lover snuggle closer in his embrace, enjoying the caring attention. Sam didn’t know if Bucky forgot about the nightmare or was just pretending he did, but it didn’t matter. He was intent on making him feel better.

Kissing his forehead and his eyes, one by one, he made his way to his lips, beginning with the corners and then gave him a full, long kiss. Bucky kissed back, a sleepy, tired kiss, but somewhere in there, Sam felt some remorse, gratitude, and maybe even a little shame. 

It broke his heart every damn time.

So he kissed him with all the love he could muster up, holding him tight, stroking his face and his left shoulder gently. He never wore his metal arm while he was asleep, and Sam realized he liked it a lot better that way. Even though it was powerful and very useful, it was also one of the biggest reminders of what had been done to him and what made him a ruthless killing machine. He stroked his shoulder and his shoulder blades, making sure to boost his lover’s spirits as high as he could. Bucky reacted to the kiss, melting in his arms, pushing himself into him more than humanly should have been possible. 

Sam felt Bucky’s need and desire, not just to have sex, but to be loved and caressed, to be embraced and needed. They kissed as if there was no tomorrow, as if any moment could be their last, caressing each other, their bodies impossibly close, the heat of the moment seemingly lasting forever, and right there and then, nothing else existed but the two of them.

Sam knew exactly what Bucky needed in times when his demons threatened to take over.

He needed love.

And Sam was intent on giving all of his love to this beautiful, broken man.

Slowly, not rushing anything, he flipped them over so that Bucky was under him, their lips never leaving each others’ as they got more lost in each other. The small, dark room transformed into their personal microcosm, a little world of peace and solace only the two of them knew about. 

Sam caressed his lover’s body, from his chest to his sides, going down to his legs and his thighs as Bucky pushed his body against his, caressing Sam’s face and neck with his right hand. Slowly, Sam started to move from Bucky’s lips to give attention to the side of his neck, and he moaned, a soft, almost feminine sound so quiet that Sam felt it rather than heard it, but the effect it had on him was more powerful than any loud, passion heated moan could’ve been. He left a trail of wet kisses on his jawline, making his way slowly to the nape of his neck and the small spot behind his ear, and Bucky, lost in a cloud of passion and desire, grinded against his crotch, and Sam felt his already hard dick twitch with precum.

He bit Bucky’s ear lightly, grinding back, picking up his lover's rhythm as they rocked away. Sam felt Bucky’s lips on his shoulder and collarbone, also making his way up to his neck, his right hand sliding down on his back and his side to grab his ass passionately, then making his way around his waist to grab his cock, and Sam whimpered softly as he saw stars bursting in his vision.

He stroked him, softly at first but as the heat of the moment took him over he stroke faster and faster, but that was not how Sam wanted this to end. He grabbed Bucky’s hand firmly, but kindly as he pulled it up to kiss his fingers one by one as he continued to grind against him and Bucky held his face as they moved in unison.

Sam moved a little to open the drawer next to them and lubed his cock as he kissed Bucky lovingly. He lined up his cock with his hole and breaking the kiss to look straight in those clear, ice-blue eyes as he slowly entered his lover. He took in every little detail and expression Bucky made while his cock opened his hole. The slightly parted lips, the flaring of his perfect nose, his long lashes fluttering under slightly knitted eyebrows. When he was fully inside, he waited a moment for both of them to adjust, their breathing quiet and their heartbeat in perfect union.

Slowly, Sam started moving, making every push and thrust count, expanding the moment as long as he could. He buried his head in his lover’s neck and shoulder-length hair as they moved in together, taking in every little moan and whimper, his sweet smell of ocean shampoo that was his and he liked to smell himself on his lover’s skin. 

Bucky rolled his hips, urging Sam to go faster, and he complied, quickening the pace, panting slightly as he thrust inside of him. Bucky was getting incredibly tight, and Sam felt that they were both getting close to the edge, but he strained himself to make sure they both got to experience the pleasure of the orgasm.

Suddenly, Bucky’s hand shot out and held the side of his face, forcing him to look him in the eyes, and those eyes were full of passion, heat, gratitude, and something much deeper that no word can truly describe. They locked eyes and Sam heard him whisper the most important three words in existence.

\- I love you.

Sam felt his heart explode, those three little words echoing in his mind, filling his every thought and his whole being, meaning so much coming from this beautiful mess of a man. 

His friend. 

The Love of his Life.

He kissed him, fueled by the purest love and passion, a deep, wet, amazing kiss he only ever gave to Bucky. He felt himself quicken the pace, completely giving up control, letting his heart lead the rest of the passion. He leaned in Bucky’s hair, kissed his neck and whispered his confession to the one true love of his life.

\- I love you.

Bucky was shaking under him, and these three words pushed them both over the edge, and for a few brief moments, they were floating on the edge of eternity, their souls truly united in endless euphoria.

Sam didn’t know how much time had passed when he opened his eyes. He was still on top of his lover, both of them panting hard. Bucky was lying under him, his eyes closed, but his face was glowing, the smallest of smiles spreading on his lips. He opened his eyes and Sam smiled at him, getting a full smile from Bucky in return as they sealed the passion of the night with one final, loving kiss. 

Sam rolled down next to him, and they hugged each other tightly, just lying in bed for a few minutes, enjoying the after-sex bliss. Bucky laid his head on Sam’s shoulder, letting him fondle with his hair, and they listened to each others’ calming breathing. After a few minutes, Bucky spoke without looking up.

\- They’re different most of the time. - he stated, his voice a little hoarse.

Sam stopped fiddling with his hair as he directed his full attention to the man next to him.

\- The nightmares?

\- Yeah. I mean, they’re almost always the same, but with differences. Does that make sense?

Sam pondered on that for a few moments.

\- It does. - he answered finally, continuing to stroke Bucky’s hair affectionately, feeling the slight relief in him.

\- But ever since we’re… well… together… - he sat up as he talked, turning around to look him in the eye. - They’re mostly about you.

Sam snapped to attention at that, sitting up as well so that their eyes were in level, his expression going from shock to confusion and finally to realization.

\- I dream about being brainwashed again and hurting you. - Bucky whispered, looking down at his hand in his lap in shame.

Silence sat in the room, so quiet it was deafening. Sam felt Bucky’s remorse emanating off of him in waves, knowing how hard it must’ve been for him to admit this. He was never outgoing with his personal stuff with anyone, and Sam felt an odd mixture of relief, sadness, anger, and gratitude towards his broken love.

\- Hey - he called kindly, lifting Bucky’s chin to look at those sad puppy eyes of his, and at that moment he was so naked and vulnerable in every sense of the word he felt his heart twist.

\- There’s nothing, nothing you did or what you can do that will ever make me leave you. You will never be made to do anything you don’t want to, not on my watch. - He looked deep in his eyes, emphasizing every statement, holding his right hand affectionately. - And if by some fucked up coincidence you ever do get to do things like that again, I’m going to kick your ass so hard you’ll get all the brainwashing shit knocked right out of you and I’ll chain you to this bed until all the love and affection and passion I have for you completely erases whatever fucked up shenanigans those fucking animals did to you.

Bucky was eerily silent, his silhouette unmoving and as steady as a statue. Sam analyzed every little feature of his expression. Bucky was never really outgoing with his emotions, but right there and then he was an open book for Sam. His mouth quivered a little as one rouge tear ran down his cheek, the words of gratitude not able to leave his mouth, but his expression saying more than a thousand words could.

Sam held his right hand with both of his as he lifted it up to kiss his knuckle and to hold it to his face. All the fear, the doubt, the worry seemed to evaporate from his being with the sigh that escaped Bucky’s lips as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead to Sam’s, and they sat like that for a few blissful moments, enjoying each other’s presence in their little microcosm of solitude.

Eventually, they lay back down, Sam holding Bucky close as the other man slowly drifted back into a dreamless sleep. It was 4:23 am, but Sam was intent on guarding his beautiful disaster of a lover, not letting anything happen to him, just as he promised. He knew that the dreams will never fully go away. That the Small Things will always be reminders of the invisible scars of the battered soul of Bucky Barnes. So he studied his features carefully, guarding his dreams like a silent Warhawk as the breaking dawn slowly engulfed both of them in warm, golden light.


End file.
